The way we speak about birth experiences has a deeply informing impact on how the listener perceives birth itself. We need to be careful that we don't play into the excuses for over-interventive and interruptive birth that ends with outcomes that could have been avoided.
How do you speak about birth? You can validate someone's experience without making excuses for or justifying poor decision making on the part of the provider. I hear families echo their providers excuses all the time. "Baby didn't want to be born that way" or "Huge baby, tiny mama" or "your body just didn't cooperate with the induction" and so many more. These aren't even fully honest usually. Or the real explanation might be way more complicated than that, but this is the easy excuse. Many times, the medical staff whole-heartedly believes these excuses too, because they are not trained in how to allow birth to happen the way it can/should/has worked for eons... They are only trained to be afraid and to find problems, to take the easiest way to completing the task of birth (for them). The psychological, emotional, spiritual and sacred paths and processes that must unfold for humans to be born are often skipped, and this is to the detriment of all involved - even the practitioner.
Medical staff should exist to help support the process, not to manage the process.
They should be there to advise patients and share their knowledge and their expertise, not to bully or instill fear and use coercion to create a compliant patient. Our words around birth either create confidence or make the other person feel small and incapable.
What words will you choose?
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